23Jul14reblog
824

elenitahb:

You probably ate the damn sandwich yourself and forgot about it.

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Also let’s take a moment to appreciate Hardison creeping in the background during half of this speech.

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23Jul14reblog

bleep0bleep:

heathyr:

THERE’S BEEN AN INCIDENT AND THE PRESIDENT’S SON (WHO IS SO VERY LOVED BY THE PUBLIC) NEEDS TO BE MOVED NOW

[movie narrator voice] IN A WORLD WHERE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD’S ONLY WEAKNESS ISHIS QUICK-TO-DODGE-SECURITY- ENTHUSIASTIC-FRESHLY-GRADUATED-FROM-COLLEGE SON, THE COUNTRY IS ON EDGE WHEN THE FIRST SON DISAPPEARS. THE RANSOM DEMAND IS HIGH BUT THE STAKES ARE CLEAR THE KIDNAPPERS MEAN TO SEND A MESSAGE AND DON’T PLAN ON RETURNING HIM ALIVE. THE ONE FORMER SECRET SERVICE AGENT WHO QUIT HIS JOB MONTHS AGO BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF GETTING TOO CLOSE TO HIS CHARGE NOW IS DETERMINED TO BRING HIM BACK 

[dramatic fade to black, the music swells and then fades, and then the only sound is the slick slide of leather over skin]

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23Jul14reblog

alliemack30:

crayonster:

timeturner:

bex-chan:

you know you’re getting old when you watch the little mermaid and when ariel says “i’m 16 years old. i’m not a child anymore.” and you’re just sat there like yes you fucking are young lady stop it

The day you start agreeing with the parents in kids movies is the day it’s all over.

Ugh when did I become an adult and how do I make it stop

  
23Jul14reblog

sourcedumal:

upallnightogetloki:

pimpunderthemountain:

cockleshells:

Okay so imagine the villain has captured a girl the protagonist cares about and is all like “I’ll kill her unless you give me the macguffin!”

And the hero’s like “that will never happen! I love her and she loves me! Right?”

And the girl’s like “um…this isn’t the best time.”

And the protagonist screams she’s a friendzoning whore and abandons her.

And the villain’s like “fuck that guy” and teaches her how to walk in thigh-high leather boots.

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 bawse

here for it

  
23Jul14reblog

thrandilf:

snapchats from agent maria hill

 
23Jul14reblog
13

zip | listenRaise Hell - Brandi Carlile | Slinger’s Song - Bastion OST | Wolf Like Me - Lera Lynn | When I Come Around - Honeywagon | Never Could Have Believed - The First Donuts | Everybody Loves a Loser - Morcheeba | Land of Confusion - Katzenjammer | This Tightrope’s Made For Walkin’ - Nancy Sinatra vs Janelle Monáe | Rollin’ and Tumblin' - Jeff Beck & Imogen Heap | Crazy Kids vs Radioactive - Ke$ha vs Marina and the Diamonds | The Devil Takes Care Of His Own - Band of Skulls | Fight Like A Girl - Emilie Autumn

zip | listen

Raise Hell - Brandi Carlile | Slinger’s Song - Bastion OST | Wolf Like Me - Lera Lynn | When I Come Around - Honeywagon | Never Could Have Believed - The First Donuts | Everybody Loves a Loser - Morcheeba | Land of Confusion - Katzenjammer | This Tightrope’s Made For Walkin’ - Nancy Sinatra vs Janelle Monáe | Rollin’ and Tumblin' - Jeff Beck & Imogen Heap | Crazy Kids vs Radioactive - Ke$ha vs Marina and the Diamonds | The Devil Takes Care Of His Own - Band of Skulls | Fight Like A Girl - Emilie Autumn

  
22Jul14reblog
  • DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
  • Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
  • DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
  • Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
  • DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
  • Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
  • DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
  • Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
  • DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
  • Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
  • DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
  • Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
  • DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
  • Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
  • DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
  • Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
  • DC: Wait-
  • Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
  • DC: I didn't-
  • Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
  • Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
  • Marvel: PEACE
  
22Jul14reblog

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time